142 Funny Jokes for Kids...Got One to Add?

What did the shark say when it ate the clown fish? Tastes funny.

Why does a duck have feathers? To cover his butt quack

What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless.

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll Let it Go.

What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past!

Why did the mushroom like to party so much? Because he was a fun-guy.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

What do you call a sleeping tyrannosaurs rex? A Dino-snore

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine!

Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems.

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nach-o cheese.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

How do trees access the Internet? They log on

Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf- is- Presley What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent!

Why were the cows yelling at the farmers? They were just being moody.

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me something smells.

What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.

What do call a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.

Do you know what's really odd? Every other number.

Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped by the questions.

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

Why was the car so stinky? It was full of gas.

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.

How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles!

How much does a pirate pay for ear piercing? A buccaneer.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

What did one firefly say to the other? You glow, girl!

Why did the toad cross the road?: It wanted to show his guts.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out standing in his field.

Why did the computer need glasses? To improve his website.

How do you make a piece of bread feel good? You butter it up!

How do teachers go swimming? First they test the waters.

What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurty!

What did zero say to eight? I like your belt!

What can jump higher than a house. Anything a house can't jump

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

What do computers love to eat? Microchips.

How do you make a milkshake? You put a cow on a trampoline!!!!!

What type of bug is good at counting? An Account(ant)

What does a car do when it's too old to be in a race? It re-tires! 🏎️

Who keeps the ocean clean? The MER-MAID

What is the best part about living in Switzerland ? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. 🇨🇭😆

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Cause then they would be bagels

What did the acorn say when he grew up? Geometry.

Where do skeletons go for a fun night out? Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.

What did the man say when he walked into a bar. Ouch!

Why did the twin elephants have to leave the beach? They only had a pair of trunks.

What do pirates do when they hear music? They shake a little booty.

Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

What did the racing snail say to his friend? Look at that escargo.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? He got stuck in a crack.

Why do cows where bells? Because their horns dont work

What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on a head, I’ll go around.

What kind of dinosaur uses big words? A thesaurus.

Did you know that the first French fry wasn't made in France? It was actually made in grease

Why was the computer considered a superhero? Because of its screen saver.

What did one wall say to the other? Ill meet you at the corner!

Whats green and pouty? The Incredible Sulk

What did the snail say when it was sitting on the turtle? Wheeeee!

What does a cloud wear under its raincoat? Thunderwear!

What is a boomerang that never comes back? A stick!

Knock knock Whose there? Amiss Amiss who? A mosquito bit me

Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed.

What does a janitor yell when he jumps out of a closet? SUPPLIES!

Why was the computer late for work? It had a hard drive.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investa-gator

How do oceans greet each other? by waving!!

Why did the cat leave the party? She wasn't feline well.

Why didn’t the invisible man take a job offer? He couldn’t see himself working there.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy

Want to here a joke about a broken pencil? Never mind it’s pointless

Why is a pirate called a pirate? Because they arrrrrreeeee.

What is the most religious insect A Praying Mantis

Why did the super hero flush the toilet? Because it was his dooty

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

What kind of bagel flies? plain

How do you prepare to throw a space party? You planet.

What did one tomato say to the other? You go ahead, I’ll ketchup.

Knock knock “ Who’s there“ Boo “ boo-hoo “ Don’t cry it is just a joke

What do you get when you walk across a snowman and a Vampire Frostbite

Knock knock Who's there The interrupting cow Interrupting cow "mooo"who

Why does the bike fall over? It was tired

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny Farts

Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind. It's tearable.

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh

What letter can you drink? "T"

Who won the princess race? Rapunzel by a hair

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.

What did the buffalo say to the son Byson

How much does a chimney cost

Why don't monkey's like to play cards in the jungle? Because there's too many cheetahs!

What do you call a pig playing tug-of-war? Pulled pork.

Why didn't Noah play cards on the ark? He was standing on the deck.

Knock knock Who’s there? Hike Hike who? I didn’t know you like Japanese poetry

What’s a elf’s favorite thing to do? Sing the elfabet ( alphabet )

Why are lemons and limes always angry? Because they’re in a sour mood

What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.

What does the cat say when the job is done well ? Purrrr-fect!!!

Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands? Because it’s extinct.

If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN... They get really upset.

Knock knock who’s there police police who? Police hurry up it’s chilly outside

Why didn’t the bear want dessert? Because it was stuffed

What is Dracula’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine

What did the lettuce say to the tomato during the race? You better ketchup or lettuce win!

What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? Aye matey!

Kid: How many letters are there in the alphabet? Parent: 26 Kid: Nope, 25, because I don't know Y

How Do You Make A Water Bed More Bouncey? You Add Spring Water

Why did the boy bring a ladder to sining class So he can sing high

Why did the pencil go to the sharpener? Because he wanted to get a sharp new look!

What do you call a sneaky pasta? Spy-guetti

What do you call an alligator that shows you which way to go? A Navigator

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me

what did the green light say to the red light do not look I'm changing

Knock knock, Who’s there? Little old lady, Little old lady who? Woah I didn’t know you could yodel!

What do sheep wear to the beach? Baaaaakinis

What did the camera man say to the frog family? Give me a slimy (smiley) face!

Knock knock Who’s there Ash Ash who Bless you

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling right!

Jack wanted to build a car out of noodles and but Jill said it was impossible. She couldn't believe her eyes when he drove right pasta!

What's the worst part about giving a cat a bath? Getting the hair off your tongue.

What turns a cucumber into a pickle? A jarring experience.

What do you say to a toilet on its birthday? Happy bidet.

Where does Mr Pibb go when he gets sick? To see Dr Pepper !

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter? A: You may think it's "R," but my first love is the "C" (sea).

Did you hear about the farmer who took 8 cows out to the field? When he rounded them up, he had 10!

How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!

Why can you never believe what an atom tells you? They make up everything.

When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.

What did the cub do when his friend got back? He gave him a big bear hug! 🐻

What did one plate say to the other? Don’t worry…Dinner is on me!

What did the pepper say when they got put in the fridge? Is it just me or is it chili 🌶 in here

Why did the pepper fail archery class? He didn’t habenero!

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

What do you do when your in a cold room? Go to the corner it’s always 90 degrees

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